Rated PG-13 for language, sequence of violence, sensuality and drug content
Cast: Seth Rogen, Jay Chou, Cameron Diaz, Christoph Waltz
Director: Michel Gondry
"The Green Hornet" is loud, at times funny, loud, sometimes fast-paced, loud, occasionally quite violent and most of all... loud. Oh, it does have moments of wit. It begins well, and I enjoyed the first half-hour. That's the good news. The bad news is that the wit eventually dries up. The remaining traits--(i.e. LOUD)--are relentless. I haven't been in the habit of bringing Imitrex to a movie screening. God help me, I don't want to start now.
I don't know if this film has any 2D showings, but the only screenings in my area were of the 3D variety and that, I imagine, contributed to the migraine suffered at its hands. I sense an unsettling trend developing here. Not only does the "added dimension" give rise to ticket prices, but it seems to give studios yet another excuse to put even less effort into story and character development. Now, I know there's going to be die-hard fans out there who'll say that the previous versions of the story were equally vacuous and stupid, so there's no reason not to love this version, right? I find arguments like those so hopelessly inane that I feel embarrassed for individuals who try making them. Love it if you want. No critic will ever say you're wrong for doing so. But I'm not going to dish out critical praise for it. There's no honor in being a lemming.
Of course, movies like this do have an audience. I'm not naive enough to think they don't. And for that audience, I suppose "The Green Hornet" does deliver what it promises. Like I said, it begins well and I laughed out loud a few times. Unfortunately, a sinking feeling took hold about forty minutes in. That's the moment when you realize you're watching a film that isn't going to be about anything. There's a scene that sums up the movie's problem for me... it's when The Hornet and Kato thunder from the Reid Mansion in their funky, bulletproof, weapon-laden vehicle. Coolio's "Gangsta's Paradise" blasts from the car's speakers. The two protagonists bob their heads and sing along with the tune. Finally, Kato silences the stereo and asks: "So, what now? Where are we going?" The Hornet's reply? "I don't know, man. I thought you did."
Exactly.
After his father (Tom Wilkinson) dies of an apparent bee sting, playboy Britt Reid (Seth Rogen) is left with running "The Daily Sentinel" newspaper, his dad's pride and joy. Their relationship being as strained as it was, Britt doesn't take kindly to the responsibilities of his inheritance. (Though he has long since taken to the riches accrued from said empire.) He immediately fires all those employed by his father, but soon hires back one of his dad's most trusted employees, a cappuccino-artist named Kato (Jay Chou). Britt and Kato talk, learn things about one another, (upon learning Kato hails from Shanghai, Britt's blank response is "yeah yeah, I love Japan") and discover a common bond... neither one thought too highly of the senior Reid. Kato soon reveals himself as a true master not only of martial arts but of all things mechanical, which gives Britt an idea... dude, they can be, like, superheroes!
So why can't I just sit back and enjoy the movie as empty-headed entertainment? Well, besides its gleefully loud, obnoxious, in-your-face intent on giving me a thundering headache, part of the problem may lie in the fact that there just isn't any chemistry whatsoever between the leads.
Seth Rogen is a hit-and-miss actor for me. I liked him in "Pineapple Express" because he played off James Franco so well. (Incidentally, Franco has a cameo early in "Hornet" which is one of the movie's few bright spots.) Jay Chou is decent here, playing a character so inventive he's impossible not to like. Their banter, however, is so clunky and forced that they might as well be in different movies. Rogen also has zero chemistry with Cameron Diaz, who plays temp assistant Lenore Case. Diaz has tremendous comic timing when given the opportunity, but her talents are absolutely wasted here. It's sad. I sense at some point Rogen knew there was a lack of chemistry, as a kind of desperation seeps into his performance. He seems to be straining for laughs.
Christoph Waltz stepped into the role of the villainous Chudnofsky after Nicolas Cage reportedly left the project. Waltz is indeed a terrific actor, though I think he made a mistake in accepting this role. When we first see him, he is being berated by a young crime boss wannabe... his clothes, his demeanor, even his name is being mocked. He sits quietly, takes in the onslaught of insults. A look of deep introspection blankets his face. He then smiles, thanks the man for his "input" then unleashes a round of fury on the unsuspecting crime boss. At that point we realize that Waltz isn't really playing a character here. Instead, he's playing a tongue-in-cheek mockery of the character he portrayed in "Inglourious Basterds." To be honest, I think Cage would have fared better in the role. He would have tried to bring something new to it. Something more than a knock off of a previous role.
The screenplay by Rogen and Evan Goldberg contains a few good lines, but without any chemistry between the actors, there's only so much a screenplay can offer. Director Michel Gondry ("Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind", "Be Kind Rewind") is a wildly talented visual artisan, but there's no reason that artistry can't be at the service of a story that's actually about something.
Am I being unfair? I don't know. What I do know is that I'm increasingly losing patience with movies that substitute a lack of story and interesting characters with 3D technology and sound effects aimed at assaulting the senses with stentorian zeal. I'm not looking for a migraine when I hit the theatres. I give the movie two stars for two reasons... one, "Hornet" may very well appeal to its target audience and two, I readily admit I am not a part of that audience. This review is geared more toward those who are on the fence. I don't think it's worth the price, unless a headache is what you're after. If this trend keeps up, they'll need to start offering aspirin along with those 3D recyclable glasses.
* * out of * * * * stars
